So, you’re probably sick of hearing about my computer troubles by now, but here’s the latest:<\/p>\n
After waiting a week, I hadn’t received any shipping notice from Dell about my replacement PC, so I decided to call them. According to the agent, they just scheduled my exchange that very day. So now they say I have another 10-15 business days to wait for the replacement. Glad I’m not running a business that depends on these clowns.<\/p>\n
Anyhow, I don’t have access to my scripts in the main storyline at the moment, so I decided to write a new short something to fill up the last few weeks. I even inked the first page. Then I got out my scanner, plugged it in – and it didn’t turn on. So I can’t scan in art either. If anyone had any good leads on 17×11 inch scanners that aren’t too expensive, please let me know.<\/p>\n
So instead of dragging this out over several comic strips, I’m releasing the rhyme in one piece. I’ve been listening to H P Lovecraft audiobooks lately and decided it would be hilarious to retell the classic rhyme “‘Twas the Night before Christmas” using the Cthulhu mythos. I thought I was being clever, but apparently I was not the first person to think of this. By a long shot. Lotta sick people out there.<\/p>\n
So without further adieu:<\/p>\n
‘Twas the night before Christmas
\nAnd all though the town
\nNot a single soul stirred
\nIn the white snowy down<\/p>\n
And as I tossed and I turned
\nIn my boarding house bed
\nAbominations of old
\nAppeared in my head<\/p>\n
When out of the gloom
\nSlipped a soft sounding slither
\nThat made the crystal air cold
\nAnd the ancient stars quiver<\/p>\n
I leapt from my bunk then,
\nAnd my window I raised
\nAnd odd shapes appeared dim
\nIn the New England haze<\/p>\n
They emerged from the waves
\nAnd then drifted farther
\nFrom that new crooked isle
\nWhich appeared in the harbor<\/p>\n
When up on the roof
\nI heard metal grate
\nAs roof beams gave way
\nTo tremendous weight<\/p>\n
A shape fell through shingles
\nWith a thud that was dull
\nThen it ate up the landlord
\nLeaving only his skull<\/p>\n
Oh its eyes, how they twinkled
\nOf its mouths it had many
\nAnd I lost count of its tentacles
\nAfter nineteen or twenty<\/p>\n
Then it gave a great shriek
\nAnd I ran for the door
\nAs it half oozed up the chimney
\nAnd half ate through the floor<\/p>\n
Up the escarpment I scrambled
\nOn new fallen snow
\nPast strange chanting villagers
\nFrom the town just below<\/p>\n
I ran toward them for safety
\nAt a furious pitch
\nBut as I drew nearer
\nI saw their faces were fish!<\/p>\n
And high in the sky
\nWith my sanity fleeing
\nSoared the tentacled dragon
\nThat has haunted my dreaming<\/p>\n
Then my ears filled with buzzing
\nAnd I tripped and I fell
\nAnd somehow awoke in a
\nSanitarium cell<\/p>\n
So I pray you forgive me
\nIf my manner seems rude
\nBut that’s why to this day
\nI will not touch seafood<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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