So, you’re probably sick of hearing about my computer troubles by now, but here’s the latest:

After waiting a week, I hadn’t received any shipping notice from Dell about my replacement PC, so I decided to call them. According to the agent, they just scheduled my exchange that very day. So now they say I have another 10-15 business days to wait for the replacement. Glad I’m not running a business that depends on these clowns.

Anyhow, I don’t have access to my scripts in the main storyline at the moment, so I decided to write a new short something to fill up the last few weeks. I even inked the first page. Then I got out my scanner, plugged it in – and it didn’t turn on. So I can’t scan in art either. If anyone had any good leads on 17×11 inch scanners that aren’t too expensive, please let me know.

So instead of dragging this out over several comic strips, I’m releasing the rhyme in one piece. I’ve been listening to H P Lovecraft audiobooks lately and decided it would be hilarious to retell the classic rhyme “‘Twas the Night before Christmas” using the Cthulhu mythos. I thought I was being clever, but apparently I was not the first person to think of this. By a long shot. Lotta sick people out there.

So without further adieu:

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all though the town
Not a single soul stirred
In the white snowy down

And as I tossed and I turned
In my boarding house bed
Abominations of old
Appeared in my head

When out of the gloom
Slipped a soft sounding slither
That made the crystal air cold
And the ancient stars quiver

I leapt from my bunk then,
And my window I raised
And odd shapes appeared dim
In the New England haze

They emerged from the waves
And then drifted farther
From that new crooked isle
Which appeared in the harbor

When up on the roof
I heard metal grate
As roof beams gave way
To tremendous weight

A shape fell through shingles
With a thud that was dull
Then it ate up the landlord
Leaving only his skull

Oh its eyes, how they twinkled
Of its mouths it had many
And I lost count of its tentacles
After nineteen or twenty

Then it gave a great shriek
And I ran for the door
As it half oozed up the chimney
And half ate through the floor

Up the escarpment I scrambled
On new fallen snow
Past strange chanting villagers
From the town just below

I ran toward them for safety
At a furious pitch
But as I drew nearer
I saw their faces were fish!

And high in the sky
With my sanity fleeing
Soared the tentacled dragon
That has haunted my dreaming

Then my ears filled with buzzing
And I tripped and I fell
And somehow awoke in a
Sanitarium cell

So I pray you forgive me
If my manner seems rude
But that’s why to this day
I will not touch seafood